February, 2006, before we actually moved in together, I attended a birthday dinner for your sister. As we sat next to eachother, sharing Indian cuisine ,I was blown away…drained, in fact, by your energy. By the end of the night I barely had anything to say; you seemed to suck the air I could expend for words like a vacuum…and churn it into a conversation of your own. You had the most beautiful blue eyeshadow on.
69 was our address and it couldn’t fit us more perfectly. A Taurus and a Scorpio, the builder, the destroyer, a girl who tries to crunch a beauty routine into twenty minutes a day and a girl who spends hours in front of a mirror before any given event…I kept my door closed, and you were not afraid to open it. I tried to keep my possessions to myself…you did not hestitate to grab my dishes and silverware, mixing it in with your own. We are very different people, yet somehow our paths in life seemed to mirror one another. As I write this, I want you to know that I wouldn’t change one thing that we experienced in the past year and a half.
We cried like babies, laughed like little girls and shared uncomfortable moments that made me realize that you have to get messy in order for anything in this world to have meaning...that you have to deal with dirt in order to learn what it means to be a woman. We're both still learning.
The night we moved out of the apartment you said something as we stood in the doorway…looking down an empty hallway…into an empty kitchen where you used to share your home-cooked meals with me,
“When we moved in here, it was like we both wanted so badly to be something.”
1 comment:
there are tears in my eyes. you write beautifully. thank you.
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